When?

Moment to moment keeping alive,
With the constant unheard breaths I take.
Pain paused me by, to listen.
Far beyond was I, in a lamenting world of mine.
Thoughts whacking all the while
I moved as a snail holding its unseen shell of sighs.
Pushing myself one gear up with every second step
While the third pulls itself to a heavy halt.
Wondrous souls' chants ringing like temple bells
Wound my within and  gets lost when without.
The wish to see the angel's miracle and the want to turn deaf to the demon's call,
Interlocked like two serpents in unison.
Separate they don't, until under will.
I behold all as a witness to a story that unfolds itself with the next second.
Know not I the sight that waits
The breath I wish, I sense, see, feel like never before.
The miracle of oneness with the one that's lost
The glory of unspoken words when revealed
Can you drown in there?
And rise like a shooting fountain
To a destination that decides the next plunge
The fall this time, a heavenly dive and not a horrendous punch.